I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
