I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
