i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
