dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
