You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
