So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
