so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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