Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
