i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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