I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
