She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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