There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
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Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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