his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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