Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
