I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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