He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize