so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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