There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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