Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize