A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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