Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
