Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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