So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
