im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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