Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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