so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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