I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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