Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool

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  (904): I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool http://tfl.nu/7zbx
  Replies (19) Good night (701) Bad night (5544)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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  (734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl
  Replies (118) Good night (38634) Bad night (1574)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7360) Bad night (943)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.

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  (229): I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7ms
  Replies (17) Good night (4465) Bad night (1688)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.

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  (719): You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job. http://tfl.nu/yqtc
  Replies (19) Good night (3379) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.

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  (773): Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/4kdw
  Replies (11) Good night (835) Bad night (2932)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me

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  (763): I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me http://tfl.nu/q7kn
  Replies (5) Good night (1351) Bad night (835)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?

  (563): View more from Iowa

  1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World

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  (641): So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight? (563): 1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World http://tfl.nu/s9cv
  Replies (4) Good night (1852) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.

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  (734): The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use. http://tfl.nu/kozs
  Replies (7) Good night (1254) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...

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  (325): You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis... http://tfl.nu/1zk4
  Replies (6) Good night (1156) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.

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  (+44): Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am. http://tfl.nu/fqfm
  Replies (3) Good night (1074) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow

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  (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://tfl.nu/bjeb
  Replies (5) Good night (1929) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?

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  (231): Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest? http://tfl.nu/bt3a
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia

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  (708): Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia http://tfl.nu/57sg
  Replies (6) Good night (305) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole

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  (757): Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole http://tfl.nu/7d8z
  Replies (2) Good night (130) Bad night (515)

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