Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
