I am puke
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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