Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.