Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.