I heard we made out
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
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I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.