Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  will power is for people who don't want to get laid

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  (773): will power is for people who don't want to get laid http://tfl.nu/uala
  Replies (22) Good night (4129) Bad night (871)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.

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  (903): her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top. http://tfl.nu/4up5
  Replies (132) Good night (887) Bad night (8649)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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  (403): That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome http://tfl.nu/k9p3
  Replies (25) Good night (5678) Bad night (1035)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.

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  (240): Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present. http://tfl.nu/qzgl
  Replies (9) Good night (4452) Bad night (928)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me

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  (504): open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me http://tfl.nu/k62l
  Replies (1) Good night (2407) Bad night (1053)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".

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  (732): hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals". http://tfl.nu/oep3
  Replies (16) Good night (3970) Bad night (1559)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.

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  (601): I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise. http://tfl.nu/o61x
  Replies (32) Good night (5637) Bad night (1147)
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  (951): View more from California

  Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.

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  (951): Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem. http://tfl.nu/85aq
  Replies (4) Good night (2260) Bad night (827)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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  (713): Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away. http://tfl.nu/vae8
  Replies (5) Good night (1817) Bad night (595)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed

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  (425): This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed http://tfl.nu/f7du
  Replies (1) Good night (994) Bad night (432)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.

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  (303): What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again. http://tfl.nu/ob8g
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (349)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid

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  (604): Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/spz2
  Replies (1) Good night (679) Bad night (384)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian

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  (787): She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian http://tfl.nu/g8gz
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (710)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's his name?

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  (717): There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night.. (1-717): What's his name? http://tfl.nu/21c3
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (332)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma

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  (847): What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma http://tfl.nu/9gxo
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (334)

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