He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
