What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
