question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
