If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
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Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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