dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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