I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
