Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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