whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
