sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
