Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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