New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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