That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
time to smoke my breakfast
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
