I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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