Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
