dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
