so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
