Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.

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  (412): Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink. http://tfl.nu/ozhg
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.

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  (401): My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study. http://tfl.nu/037f
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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  (901): i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." http://tfl.nu/7ug8
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great

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  (804): Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great http://tfl.nu/xifb
  Replies (26) Good night (5589) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.

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  (608): Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there. (1-608): Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it. http://tfl.nu/bpdw
  Replies (40) Good night (4925) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...

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  (417): i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was... http://tfl.nu/mlza
  Replies (82) Good night (8876) Bad night (2337) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

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  (914): you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds http://tfl.nu/u8pq
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  (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

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  (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. http://tfl.nu/a6jm
  Replies (42) Good night (14366) Bad night (1864) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

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  (413): My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace http://tfl.nu/tutd
  Replies (10) Good night (1415) Bad night (4263) Order T-Shirt
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing

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  (+31): Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing http://tfl.nu/rk5x
  Replies (7) Good night (4159) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.

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  (734): So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things. http://tfl.nu/gsnh
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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  (806): I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you. http://tfl.nu/8w6h
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area

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  (479): Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius? (1-479): If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area http://tfl.nu/19ec
  Replies (10) Good night (1731) Bad night (511)
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  (852): View more from

  I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..

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  (852): I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again.. http://tfl.nu/4a3e
  Replies (4) Good night (313) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.

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  (248): Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds. http://tfl.nu/tb7m
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt

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