Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil

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(407): View more from Florida

We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime

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(310): View more from California

i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now

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(989): View more from Michigan

Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He called his dick the "gentle giant"

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.

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