$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
