if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
