Sponge bath it is.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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