So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
