Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
