She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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