Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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