is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
